Give up enough of your petty self, and you may find yourself aligned with something else, guided by something else. This acts as an official warning to all. I am reluctant to pin things down with words and names; but it feels to me as if it involves intent. This was my discovery at the time: that there is intent in the universe.
Personally, I have no problem with this; I have come to increasingly accept it as part of my life. I came upon a deliciously ambiguous phrase in one of the little white books that accompany some Tarot decks. Describing the King of Wands, the lord of the element fire, embodying as he does action, transformation, mercurial change, and intent, the little book put forth the commentary: 'the chains of purpose.' That is a phrase to meditate on. Even the lord of intent, apparently, is subject to the chains of purpose.
To some, this sense of being in touch with, and subject to, something else, may give rise to a path of devotion. I rather like the idea of devotion. Not as solidified into a particular school of religion with fixed religious practices, or some form of bhakti yoga. Devotion denotes a certain attitude to life; it relates to things like grace and feeling 'blessed'. I am grateful to one reader of this blog and friendly personal correspondent for helping me to feel at ease with such notions.
One place that, for me, comes close to encapsulating something of this attitude of devotion with intent is Carlos Castaneda's final book, 'The Active Side of Infinity'. Here, Don Juan describes what he calls 'the intent of infinity' and its effects. Speaking of his and Carlos's first encounter:
"When we met in Arizona, both of us crossed a particular threshold..... And this threshold was not decided by either one of us, but by infinity itself....... The sorcerers of my lineage call it infinity, the spirit, the dark sea of awareness, and say that it is something that exists out there and rules our lives............ Circumstances that seemed to be ruled by chance were in essence ruled by the active side of infinity......... The advantage of sorcerers is to know that the tremor in the air exists, and to acquiesce to it without any further ado. For sorcerers, there's no pondering, wondering, or speculating. They know that all they have is the possibility of merging with the intent of infinity, and they just do it." (from the chapter 'Who was Juan Matus, really?').Personal development, individual growth etc etc (and I include discovery of 'No Self' in this category) and acquiescence to the intent of infinity are not mutually exclusive. A sense of the intent of infinity brings humility, a certain suppleness and pliability, to what otherwise can seem a one-sided martial-art job on the mind. It is the antidote to the nihilistic tinge surrounding some of this No Self stuff. It provides the feminine complement to a masculine-style mind job. It is the High Priestess in sacred union with the Emperor. Or the Queen of Chalices offered as bride to the King of Swords.
In his early life, Carl Jung wrestled with notions of God: the false God promoted by his Protestant family, and the true God as he understood and perceived it. During his teens, he began to make sense of his life as mapped by the intent of infinity: "From the beginning I had a sense of destiny, as though my life was assigned to me by fate and had to be fulfilled........ I did not have this certainty, it had me....... Nobody could rob me of the conviction that it was enjoined upon me to do what God wanted and not what I wanted....... Often I had the feeling that in all decisive matters I was no longer among men, but was alone with God..... " (Memories, Dreams, Reflections, Chapter Two). Thus speaks the champion of 'individuation'. Interesting. Interesting.
Images: Vajrapani
King of Wands, Anne Stokes Gothic Tarot
