It is not something I feel inclined to write about very much. The time may come when I have greater perspective, and fuller communication in a relatively public medium I deem suitable. At the moment I remain in the throes of a process which will continue for an indefinite period, quite possibly until I drop dead; and whose goal, should there be one, and direction are out of my control and beyond my current perceptual limits.
It is, for me, an enormously significant element in my life. Sometimes it seems as if my entire life until then had been geared towards the eventual appearance of the kundalini. In contrast to various non-dual groups and individuals who adopt an evangelical stance, I have no appetite to proselytise whatsoever. The opposite, in fact. The effects are personal, intimate we could say. It is more like a love affair than an election campaign.
Once it had established itself as a newly-installed aspect of my being, the kundalini energy worked mainly through my abdominal regions, on the areas related to the muladhara, svadhistana, and manipura chakras. This involved a lot of breaking through energetic and emotional blockages. In more recent times, the energy has moved upwards, more into my head. This has catalysed an enforced assault course on different aspects of personal conditioning, a factor influencing the subject matter of some of my more recent posts. I am beginning to experience more clearly how conditioning acts as an overlay on direct experience. It has to be shed, elegantly put aside, and kundalini insists that this does indeed take place.
Kundalini and sexual energy: there's a definite connection. This in itself is enough to put it outside the self-created walls of most spiritual schools and traditions. Sex and the spiritual are adversaries in most people' book. Traditions emanating from Asia appear to, generally speaking, underplay the sexual aspect to kundalini. There are various individuals in the modern west who tend to the other extreme, equating kundalini with sexual energy. The relationship is rarely expressed very clearly, probably because it's a bit oblique and subtle.Kundalini, nested at the base of the spine, is not 'sexual energy' as such, my limited experience suggests to me. Nevertheless, a subtle form of sexual energy seems to act as the fuel necessary for kundalini to really be effective. It is as if energy is activated, located around my genitals and the two lower body chakras, and worked backwards, to eventually meet the base of the spine and ignite the kundalini, which then flows upwards.
To begin with, this was often an energetic struggle taking place inside my body. It was as if very basic energy was being re-routed. With time, the process takes place more smoothly, though it still varies.
Union of opposites: the key to kundalini, I think. Especially masculine and feminine, within the individual being and within the universe at large. If we seek an image which says something about the essential dynamic of kundalini, the yab-yum of Buddhist and Hindu tantra probably best fits the bill.
It is as if the Undifferentiated splits into two; that's its first act. Conversely, that pairs of opposites is only one small step away from the All, the Godhead, call it what you will. Don't tell anyone, especially organised religion in any form. It's taboo, its secret getting out meaning the end of all priest-and-power based religious systems.
Libido, for want of a better word: an essential prerequisite for Kundalini movement. At the same time, that libido is a bit different to what is the normal experience. In the male, instead of wanting to go forwards and out, it seeks to reroute to inwards, back, and up - to put things crudely. It's a pretty basic change.
Which brings me to a reflection on Darwin. Good old Charles Darwin. The one who came up with a most convenient theory for our materialistic linear modern world. In the world of Darwin, and pretty much everything you will read or come across on television, sex has its place and its purposes. To create babies, to catalyse and cement companionship, a partner, and to provide fun and entertainment. If kundalini turns up in your body, another purpose to sex begins to appear. And it has nothing to do with the other functions, the Darwin ones. In fact it doesn't seem to fit into the Darwin view of life and death at all.
The use of sexual energy at the service of 'the spiritual' is nevertheless hard-wired into the human body. This is what I have been able to experience. It seems inherent to the human: you don't reroute sexual energy, the process appears to be natural, spontaneous, and inbuilt. It just begins to happen, like being hungry or being tired. And the point is that this does not fit into Darwinian 'survival' theory at all. Nevertheless, to repeat myself, it is there, coded into the possibilities of the human body. Darwin, modern worldview, has no answer. It deals with the situation the way that the modern medical world does, by denying the existence of kundalini altogether, rendering its symptoms fit for tranquillisers and the psychiatric ward only. Which is funny, since an increasing number of people are coming to experience kundalini, as real as wanting a pee.
So it's not exactly 'bye bye Darwin'. I suppose there is some reality in Darwinian musings. But as a description, or even more, explanation, of life, it is profoundly wanting. There is, I feel from my own experience - which is all I have to go on - a lot more going on, which today's Darwinians refuse to acknowledge as existing at all.
