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Tuesday 9 June 2015

Climate Change - the Solution


What Antarctica will look like in 2050

Here on Pale Green Vortex we've decided it's time to get tough on climate change. No more political pussy-footing around. We need to be serious and act now, before it really is too late. Having looked at the problem from all angles and considered all the available options rationally, we have come to the sober conclusion that there is one, and one only, way forward. We need to prepare to invade China.

China is responsible for far more carbon emissions than any other nation. It is still building more coal-fired stations as if there is no tomorrow, spewing noxious CO2 into the atmosphere in a most irresponsible way. Once we have dealt with China, we can turn our attention to India, which is hardly any better and is only across the border. Then, with the sweet smell of carbon-free victory in our nostrils, we can have a go at Russia. Not particularly about climate change, but because the nation's government has the effrontery to routinely stand against NATO, the EU, and USA policy. Really bad form on their part.

Meanwhile, in tiny places like Scotland, where no matter how much CO2 is chucked into the atmosphere, it will make little difference to global totals, a different  approach can be taken. We can dispense with unreliable, expensive energy from wind farms, and instead reopen all the coal plant closed down at the end of the 20th century. This will provide cheaper energy, thus permitting these little nations to produce items such as synthetic underwear and plastic garden gnomes at low cost, thereby relieving reliance on China and India for these important goods. Not to mention reducing greatly transport distances and costs, once more helping to reduce carbon footprint and save the planet.

The sensible, rational implementation of the modern scientific approach can be relied on to find solutions where otherwise none were to be seen. As they say in the Department of Energy: 'Job's a good 'un.' See you in Beijing....