From what we can make out, the Indian subcontinent at the time of Buddha was a place in foment. New ideas, new philosophies and approaches to truth and wisdom; innovation and experimentation in lifestyle and practice. A bit like the 1960s in some ways. Political correctness had not been invented; the thought police had yet to turn up.
If the tendency during the 1960s was towards hedonism, Buddha's era was characterised by ascetics and asceticism. All manner of self-torture, self-sacrifice, was employed in often bizarre efforts to release the spirit, to experience some kind of higher reality.
Thus we find Buddha, in an early text called the Kukkusavatika Sutta, engaged in conversation with a couple of these mind-bending ascetics. The first one is known as the Canine Ascetic, and his path towards liberation involves behaving like a dog. Just how far he takes this practice is not clear - we are not told whether he cocks his leg when he pees, or rolls over on his back hoping to have his tummy rubbed - but behaving like a dog is his thing. He approaches Buddha in great anticipation and, clearly expecting a great prognosis, asks Buddha what his future rebirth will be. Buddha remains silent. A second time he asks, and a second time Buddha is silent. A third time he repeats the question, and that's it. Buddha has a certain protocol. Should a person (or a dog-person) ask a question he would rather not answer, he stays quiet. But if asked three times, he takes it that the querent is really serious, so shrugs his shoulders, takes a deep breath, and speaks.
So a third time he is asked: "Lord Buddha, what will be my rebirth?" "My canine friend: if you are fortunate you will be reborn as a dog. If unfortunate, you will be reborn in hell." At this point, our Canine Ascetic loses all his pit-bull machismo, and bursts into tears.
As if this wasn't trouble enough, Buddha is then approached by a Bovine Ascetic. Same story, same outcome, except that he moos and doesn't bark.
The Buddhist text takes the story of the Canine and Bovine Ascetics as an opportunity to explain the workings of karma and some of its types. I take it a bit differently, though. It's Buddha having a joke. It is generally understood that being a human and reborn as an animal is pretty difficult to do, and I don't feel inclined to take Buddha's utterances too literally. Instead, he's gritting his teeth, but making the thing into a bit of a joke, to try and drum into these guys' heads that what they are doing is not the way, and will not end happily, while simultaneously treating it with humour.
Part Two: Cosmic Jokers
I recall something that Neil Kramer once elucidated. To the Ego, he said, the modern world of human affairs is a mess, a tragedy. To the Soul, it is a challenge. To the (higher) Self it is a game, a kind of cosmic joke even.
It would seem that a sense of humour is an essential ingredient in being fully and properly human; in achieving full-spectrum humanity, if you will. Conversely, the humourless typically inhabit a tight and tiny box, literalistic and rationalistic, divorced from the magic, mystery, and joyfully inexplicable which make human life truly worth living. As human beings, they have something missing. Something serious, seriously missing.
Its founder was not the only Buddhist to enjoy a good laugh. Lama Yeshe, a course with whom I attended in the 1970s, was always cracking jokes, often while discoursing on the profoundest of subjects, a move guaranteed to shock and discombobulate his western devotees. Chogyam Trungpa was another of that generation; his attitudes were frequently laced with humour. And let's not forget the Dalai Lama, who is proving to be more entertaining than maybe even he realises.
He had already raised quite a few starchy ideological eyebrows when he put forth his opinion that refugees in Europe should be trained and educated, then returned to their countries of origin to help rebuild life there. Then, and it had to happen some time, he was asked the question. Would he be happy for the Dalai Lama to be reincarnated as a woman? He paused for a moment before answering. Yes, he replied, he would be happy for a future Dalai Lama to be a woman. But she must be attractive! This is such a brilliant and hilarious moment, one of the moments of the year so far. This is one thing about humour, that it can get straight to the bone, cut through the bullshit. I suggest all feminist Buddhists go on a two-week retreat in solitude in a damp, dark cave on the Scottish west coast and meditate on the Dalai Lama's words....
Timothy Leary is another one with a real sense of humour. Maybe it comes with spending enough time outside the box. His autobiography, 'Flashbacks', is replete with wit and humour, though even Tim struggles to keep the smiles going when it gets to his time in jail and being held captive by the Black Panthers. For the next generation, the psychedelic hero Terence McKenna is similarly endowed with unstoppable humour. Anybody feeling down, out of sorts with the world, is recommended to find out a few quotes from Leary or McKenna. This will invariably life the spirits, invoke the spirit of the laughing Buddha.
Part Three: We Are Not Amused
Conversely, most modern politicians come devoid of a stock of decent jokes. Laughter is not part of their game. Some of the worst are women. Angela Merkel, Teresa May, Nicola Sturgeon, Hillary. What a sour, humourless bunch. Terrible. I went to our local 'Waterstones' bookshop to hunt out a copy of 'Nicola Sturgeon's Best Jokes', but I couldn't find one. Maybe it had sold out.
Then there is a whole bunch of lower-ranking political females who come laughter-free. A prime example is the man-despising, humour-free safe space Labour MP for Birmingham Yardley, Jess Phillips.
I shall come down especially hard on these sour women. BBC Newsnight presenters and other BBC third-wave feminist interviewers and commentators join the list. It dismays me. With women increasingly entering the public sphere in recent decades, it has been a wonderful opportunity for them to truly enrich human culture. But with people like this, it just hasn't happened. They have blown it, and we are all the poorer for it. The narrative is that the West has suffered from 2000 years of imbalance, of one-sidedly masculine culture. These women have made it even worse, by adopting some of the uglier aspects of 'the masculine', while bringing zero positive femininity to the table. All we have learnt from them is a negative femininity, in particular spitefulness and a certain way of being nasty.
One politician who appears to possess a sense of humour is Donald Trump. Dry, clinical, devastating - which is why he works so well on Twitter. There is a brilliant clip of Trump and Putin at the recent G20 meeting. The inevitable happens, and a journalist pipes up (one of those sub-women, again!): what about the Russian meddling in American elections? Trump looks momentarily at Putin. 'Don't you go meddling in our elections, OK?' before moving on. Putin, meanwhile, the normally po-faced Vlad Putin, is sitting there pissing himself laughing. 'No' he replies.
I think it is a great sign for the security of the world that Trump and Putin can have a laugh together, especially at the expense of the tedious and increasingly ridiculous. The truth is that it's not Russia who are meddling in American electoral outcomes, but the tech giants of Silicon Valley. Selective censoring and deplatforming, manipulation of algorithms, and other devious tactics that I can't remember the names for. These are the criminals.
Part Four: No Jokes, Please. We're British
Political correctness and humour are inherently antithetical. Much that is funny is based upon differences and distinctions between people; differences that are largely harmless and enriching, until weaponised by the ideological monolith-makers. Most television comedy produced before 1990 that we may consider funny would no longer be made - could no longer be made -, thanks to political correctness, which narrows everyone and everything down to tedious sameness, faux inequality, plain mediocrity. Such is progress. To find out the meaning of humour nowadays, I consulted my copy of 'The BBC Newspeak Dictionary' to find the meaning of the word 'joke'. It said: 'joke': a snide remark about Donald Trump or Brexit'. If you want to go completely overboard with this particular 'brand' of humour, well, you can always try Jo Brand, and her recent 'joke' about throwing battery acid over people like Nigel Farage. It was so funny that I had to take to my bed laughing.
Beware what Milo Yiannopoulos calls 'the left-wing war on fun'. It's real, it's out there, and it's after your jokes, your laughter, your irony, your sense that it's all a cosmic game.....
And there we have it.
YouTube links: the top one is Dalai Lama, a good view. The second is Jo Brand; I wouldn't bother unless you suffer from morbid curiosity.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3STgsoKqRis
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8HpHM1bGkM
Meanwhile, it looks as if this blog may have found a new sponsor:
Photos: Chogyam Trungpa, Lama Yeshe, Tim Leary, Jess Phillips, Vortex multicolours.
