Notes From a Hibernating Mood (coming up for nuts, 2)

There comes a time in a man's life - at least in this man's life - when he becomes tired of many things. He becomes tired of thinking about everything. Of concepts, ideas. Views and opinions. He becomes tired of 'the world'.

I have done my homework - at least enough to get the overall drift. I have seen that 'the world' - that matrix of social, cultural, economic, and political matters - is not a random accident. I have seen that, although there have been a few ups and downs, and while the technology has moved on, still it hasn't much changed over thousands of years. I sometimes take the Romans as a pragmatic starting point, but the thing goes back much further really.

This matrix has no intention of resolving itself into harmony, peace, human fulfilment. If 'world peace' genuinely was a priority above all else, it would be achieved during the course of a weekend. No, the juggernaut requires conflict for its own survival. Conflict and ignorance - which is a polite, abstracted word for stupidity. It is abundantly clear that increasing stupidity is the name of the slave game. You only need to look for six seconds at how smartphones for eight-year-olds are quietly approved (poor bloody modern kids), while anything which may seriously increase a person's sense of self-fulfilment and knowledge is either suppressed, demonised, or made into a criminal offence. Direct contact with the sacred, the divine, is the biggest danger to the status quo, and is out.

Yes, I am tired of views and opinions. If the digital revolution has taught anything, it is that everybody has views and opinions. And if it has taught anything else, it is that nearly all those views and opinions are, in one way or another, toxic. I steer totally clear of the easiest channels of all for the public venting of toxicity - Facebook, Twitter, etc: 'social media'. But read even a well-considered article, be it in the mainstream or alternative, and the comments section will be full of vile crap spewed out by unhappy people.

I have lost sight of why I should have views and opinions about most stuff. It eludes me. I conclude that people do it as a means of defining 'who I am'. What sort of person I am. I don't like Trump, therefore I am a decent, tolerant, caring kind of person, who believes in equality and justice. All this sort of ridiculous nonsense. Ego-definition. This is who I am. I can go to bed safe and secure in my identity. As for me, I have no wish to play this game any more.

Views and opinions. It seems one of the lowest of careers, sitting in an office or at home writing down your own prejudiced opinions, then making money by getting them published in a newspaper. Why should I have views and opinions on things which I can not really influence? Why? Why? I find no answer. If I had young children, I might feel a bit different, because of personal responsibility towards a fledgling human being who needs my assistance in getting into nest-flying shape. Even windfarms, which I may fantasise I can do a little to change, maybe. But for the rest????

All this, I suppose, forms the basis for hibernation mode in the Vortex. I am over 'thinking about', and don't - or didn't - know where to go, apart from for a long walk in the desert. I tried to find 'another voice' but it didn't come. I have realised, however, since declaring hibernation, that there is a way which I like. I shall not write much on 'thinking about'. Instead, I shall focus on 'describing'. What actually goes on, what happens. The magic, the mystery, the beauty and the horror of what is actually happening is more than enough.

 

The Geese (coming up for nuts, 1)

Quite a long time ago I lived in south London. The house was situated directly below a flight path. To Heathrow, or Gatwick, or both: I don't know. It was far enough away from the airports not to be over noisy. The night-time sky was lit up by the flickering and twinkling of planes full of people bound for far-off places.

Here in the Highlands, I now live beneath flight paths of a different order. It's the geese. Around now, late autumn, and again in early spring, especially March. The initial alert is often the sound of the distinctive squawking, which I can sometimes hear from even indoors. I will rush outside to catch a glimpse as they fly past in typical v-formation.

Recently the Highlands has been treated to some fine late autumn weather, and the skies have often been clear, resulting in some magnificent sights. It's not the typical animals that really get me: bears, eagles, mountain lions, whales and dolphins. It's normally plant-eaters that do it for me. Gorillas, orang-utans, rhino. Deer; and the geese.

To watch these birds fly overhead in formation is a strangely moving affair for me. I don't care much for where they've come from, or where they are going. The scientific data leave me cold. No. the mere sight of the activity is the thing. How they know what to do, where to go, their place in the formation. You never see geese arguing about who's going up front, or barging in to further their status as a special one.

There is something miraculous about the entire affair for me. What is it about the geese that brings me to tears? Maybe it is how they live through, surrender to, a power that is greater than themselves. They are in dialogue with their own living god, manifesting its unutterable magnificence. Unlike the vast majority of human beings. And that is enough....

Hibernation

It's Samhain. Over the years that I have lived in northern Scotland, I have become increasingly aware of the passing of, not so much the solstices and equinoxes, as the four intermediary festivals. Seasons and day length come and go so quickly in this part of the world; blink and you've missed it, fated to run three steps behind.

Samhain takes on a special significance. It is the transition from day to night, from light to darkness. Here on, for three months, we shall be living predominantly in the dark. Outer habits and inner attitudes must be reorganised, or it means trouble. For me, at least. If I am to have a really tricky time emotionally during a year, it will most likely happen between the beginning of November and the third week of January. You have been warned.

In keeping with the shutdown, much of the natural world goes into hibernation. Suddenly, almost overnight it seems, many of the trees are virtually empty of leaves. Nature goes minimalist. Many of the animals go into indoor, doing-as-little-as-possible, mode. Some go quiet and underground, while others hibernate completely.

Keeping in tune with this movement in the natural world, Pale Green Vortex is also going into hibernation mode. Like the squirrels, who reserve the right to pop out of their hideaway from time-to-time in order to uncover a buried nut or two, the Pale G.V. may jump into occasional life. But for now, that is the way.....

Since the blog first exploded into action some seven years ago, many words have been written. Things have been most splendidly active over the past three years. This has all been great: personally necessary, and for others entertaining, helpful, and sometimes annoying. I am quietly proud of what has taken place on Pale Green Vortex: it has tracked a good deal of my own journey through life during these years. But it's time to focus on other things, which are less amenable to chat, discussion, expression through reason and ideas (not that everything here has been especially reasonable!). The blog is not a particularly suitable medium for 'the inner work' at present.

As one of the occasional inspirations in the Vortex, Jim Morrison once famously sang: "The future's uncertain, and the end is always near." Let us strip the second bit of its nihilistic tone, and take it less literally i.e. that the present configuration is always up for changing. Then we have a suitable little anthem for the state of the Vortex at present.

See you sooner or later......